We All Have Secrets

Kiya,

I needed a few days on my own to think about all that you had revealed to me in your letter. I am not quite sure if I should be surprised or not, having seen a lot of things that pointed to your being a thief. I could not think of any reason why I should not be mad at you for keeping a secret of such degree from me, except for the fact that we all have secrets, and I have one too. 

I suppose I should answer your question first. Yes, I remember those Alik'r warriors we saw in the Sleeping Giant Inn. I remember curtly nodding to them as they passed us by for a drink. I remember taking you by the arm and leading you out. I remember lopping their heads off a few days later. I killed them, Kiya! I will not deny now that I have much hatred for those Alik'r warriors. They took everything from me--everything! 

The Alik'r we saw were looking for a runaway Redguard woman named Saadia in Whiterun. She told me the truth: she spoke against the Aldmeri Dominion, and the Alik'r were assassins hired to kill her or take her back to Hammerfell and execute her. I sympathized with this woman; she did not have any love for the High Elves, no more than I do. So I tracked down her pursuers and killed them. I did not ask for any names--all that mattered was the sound of my sword grinding through the flesh and bone in their necks. 

Do not think of me as some merciless killer. There was a time when I looked up to Alik'r warriors as the bravest, most elite of all warriors in Hammerfell, and that was when I was a child. My parents and I lived quiet lives in the town of Elinhir, near the border of Skyrim. We were farmers back then, living off a land that was harsh to its people. Farmers in a desert, simply put. Even then, we fared well enough to live day-to-day. We had taxes to pay though, and it was increasingly difficult to pay with every dry spell.

The Kingdom had been separated from the Empire ever since the Alik'r warriors defeated the High Elves. This was the reason why I looked up to them--they fought off the enemy that even the Empire cannot defeat. However, they were still part of the Kingdom, and they were the ones who put the law into action.

One day during a month of famine, we had been trying to plant whatever we can that required very little water. We looked up and saw three Alik'r warriors headed our way. "They must be patrols, thirsty from their rounds. We should give them some water," my mother said. She started for the house, and I followed her. 

Holding a pitcher of water and some tankards, my mother and I opened the door to see one of the warriors holding my father's cloak by the neck and shaking him, saying, "Pay your taxes now, as the King commands!" My mother dropped the pitcher she was holding, spilling precious water on the ground. She screamed. My father pleaded, "Please! Please! It has been a long famine and we could not plant anything on the ground! Give us time until this famine stops, and we'll pay you back!" It did not seem like the soldier listened to my father. He kept screaming at him to pay up. My father kept pleading. My mother screamed and cried. I stood there holding the tankards we were supposed to offer to them for their thirst. We were wrong--they had a different thirst.

What happened next was the first of a series of the worst things that had happened in my life: one of the soldiers got fed up of my father's pleading, took out his curved sword, and chopped his head off. My mother cried out my father's name as his lifeless body fell to the ground, spilling his precious blood on the ground where the plants used to grow. One of the soldiers screamed at the one who killed my father for doing such an act. "We have clean this mess up now, you damned idiot!" they said. They turned to us. Cleaning up the mess meant no witnesses, too. 

I wanted to cry, but we had no time. It was cry or die. I grabbed my mother's hand and pulled her with me as I started running. I took one of the swords outside the house with me. I hear one of the soldiers shout, "Get them!" Unfortunately there was nothing that could hide us in the field, for nearly everything had died from the famine. We headed east, to Skyrim. We will be safe there, I thought, as I ran with my mother. She could not keep up with me. We stopped. She took the sword from me and told me, "Kousei, I love you. Run, I will hold them off! I will never forgive myself if anything happened to you!" 

I stared at her. I could not possibly leave her to die! I can hold them off as well as she could! She kept screaming at me to run away as the soldiers caught up to us. I stood there and watched as my mother fought them. Three soldiers against one old woman. They gave her arm deep cuts, and stabbed her shoulders. She dropped her sword, and it fell near where I stood. It was my chance. I picked it up and charged at them, tears blinding my eyes. It went black.

I regained my senses to find three Alik'r warriors dead, with my father's sword in my hands. I had wounds on my left eye, and I could not see properly. I turned and saw my mother on the ground, a pool of blood on her clothes. She breathed as heavily as the sword felt in my hands. I cried. She told me I had no reason to be beside her anymore, that I should make my own life from now on. She told me she loved me with her last breath.

I ran away from Hammerfell, from everything that had happened. The soldiers I looked up to for the honor and valor killed my parents for no reason. I wanted to get my revenge. 

I kill thieves, Kiya. This is the reason why I cannot just overlook the life you kept me from knowing. Let me just tell you this: thieves will be thieves their whole lives. Expect your friends to stab you in the back like that Mercer Frey did if that will further their own intentions. I am willing to do forget all that had happened, however, because I love the woman far more than her being a thief. I will not judge you for who you are or what you do. I will try my hardest to keep you away from harm if I knew it was coming for you.

Please, let us meet again, my love. We still have a lot to talk about.

Kousei