Keeping it Together

What an ironic name Fort Sungard became today as the sun sets tonight, as if hiding from the bloody battlefield before me. We have just taken it from the Imperials at the cost of many lives lost. Limbs and heads were cut off from their bodies, and some of our men shared the same fate as they. I only hope they meet in Sovngarde shaking hands as brothers, for they all fought for what they believed in in this mortal plane. 

A bloody battle.

Truth is, I was lost in thought in the battle. I had sustained some arrow wounds while thinking of her. I promised myself to focus on the tasks at hand, but I had encountered something peculiar today.

I went ahead of my comrades and Galmar to the Falkreath camp. I was nearing the town of Falkreath when I smelled the scent of a person from afar. I could not tell if she was an Imperial or a Stormcloak, but she had that distinct womanly smell. I took a detour from the road I was traveling and investigated.

I came upon a large manor in the woods of Falkreath--it was as great as the Windstad manor. The people living there seemed rich, and probably unaware of the things happening in Skyrim, for there was no blood spilled within miles of this house. I saw a woman--the one whose scent I caught--approached me from behind the mansion. She seemed to walk around, as if guarding it.

So this is why the trees were missing...

She approached gently but carefully, and introduced herself as Rayya. A Redguard! She did not seem like the ones who murdered my family. I asked her why she was here and who lived in this great mansion. She ignored my other questions and said, "This is the property of Thane Kiya of Falkreath. I urge you to leave the premises, Redguard, and be on your way." I was taken aback, not because of her strong words, but because this place is owned by Kiya! That woman always seems to find her way into my mind and heart. I love her, but damn her!

I wanted to make a joke, but it might apply to me too...

I told Kiya's housecarl that I was once her lover, and that I stopped by (albeit without knowing, but she did not have to know) to give her something I've been longing to give: a butterfly in a jar. I have had the chance to catch one several days ago, and I have been keeping it alive with my potions; otherwise, it will have been a set of decaying wings now. She eyed it curiously, and took it from my hands. She thanked me, and told me to go the other way again.

Take care of it until Kiya receives it, or else!

I arrived at the Falkreath camp just before nighttime yesterday. Galmar immediately told me to go to Markarth and "persuade" Raerek, the Jarl's advisor, to commit to our cause, in any way possible. This is not something I would do on a regular basis, but I have not come this far to disobey an order to blackmail.

But... I just got here!

I ran all the way to Markarth without stopping. A band of Forsworn started shooting at me from their tower. The cowards! They should come down and face me! I had no time to lose, however, and I ignored their every shot. 

I made it safely to the Understone Keep and started sneaking around (guess who I learned that from). I managed to find Raerek's room and rummaged through his belongings to find an amulet of Talos. He seems to believe in our cause, but I will have to make sure.

He tells me, to my disappointment, that he is afraid of what Ulfric is capable of, and that he does not believe in that man; thus, his allegiance lies with Markarth and its people. I am sick of these politicians, always blind to everyone but themselves. This is why Skyrim needs new leaders. I ask him if he was willing to give us something to aid us, because I had in my hands his ruin. He said there is a big shipment on its way to Solitude, and we can catch up to it if we could. 

You politicians always have something up your sleeves.

I rushed from Markarth as soon as I could and headed back to camp to report to Galmar. It was already morning when I reached the camp. He did not seem to get some sleep tonight waiting on my report on Raerek. With a tired voice, he told me he was glad of the news, and that I should get to one of the roads near here, for scouts have spotted a caravan with chests in it.

Look at me when you talk, will you?

I was surprised to see Ralof again. He tells me he's having a grand time fighting for the Stormcloaks. I could not help but be happy for what he feels, yet my own confusion in this war saddens me at the same time. He tells me he saw a caravan on the road near us, and that they would help me obtain it. I said no, however, I can take care of it myself. He reluctantly agreed.

Oh, it won't, I assure you.

Within a few seconds of leaving Ralof's sight, I had managed to kill each Imperial soldier guarding the caravan. I cannot even remember what had happened, but fortunately I was without bruises or wounds. I stood there in a pool of my enemy's blood, calling to Ralof and the others to join me. I noticed that I had not even spared the horse from the demise its masters suffered. I felt nothing for once, and it scared the living beast out of me.

It's horse stew for dinner tonight, I'm not sure.

With the newfound weapons and armor, we started towards fort Sungard, where the battle was already taking place. An arrow hit me on the shoulder even before I had entered the fort. I charged towards the one who hit me, and struck him down mercilessly. His last screams echoed throughout the fort.

Keep it together, man!

There were almost a hundred of the enemy and we were half their number. Outnumbered, I had to make most of my shouts and shield, as they were my only protection against numerous arrows shot towards my direction. I managed to kill many of them before the rest ran, retreating to nowhere; the nearest Imperial camp was several miles away. We hunted them one by one, as they pleaded for their lives to be spared. 

I do not know how many more of these battles we should win before this war is over, but I am sure that I am starting to lose myself in the middle. I do not feel anything anymore, even killing soldiers who have given up their honor just to stay alive. I should not have done that. Am I losing even my honor just to fight for what I think is right? Am I losing myself in the process of winning the war?