We All Have Secrets

Kiya,

I needed a few days on my own to think about all that you had revealed to me in your letter. I am not quite sure if I should be surprised or not, having seen a lot of things that pointed to your being a thief. I could not think of any reason why I should not be mad at you for keeping a secret of such degree from me, except for the fact that we all have secrets, and I have one too. 

I suppose I should answer your question first. Yes, I remember those Alik'r warriors we saw in the Sleeping Giant Inn. I remember curtly nodding to them as they passed us by for a drink. I remember taking you by the arm and leading you out. I remember lopping their heads off a few days later. I killed them, Kiya! I will not deny now that I have much hatred for those Alik'r warriors. They took everything from me--everything! 

The Alik'r we saw were looking for a runaway Redguard woman named Saadia in Whiterun. She told me the truth: she spoke against the Aldmeri Dominion, and the Alik'r were assassins hired to kill her or take her back to Hammerfell and execute her. I sympathized with this woman; she did not have any love for the High Elves, no more than I do. So I tracked down her pursuers and killed them. I did not ask for any names--all that mattered was the sound of my sword grinding through the flesh and bone in their necks. 

Do not think of me as some merciless killer. There was a time when I looked up to Alik'r warriors as the bravest, most elite of all warriors in Hammerfell, and that was when I was a child. My parents and I lived quiet lives in the town of Elinhir, near the border of Skyrim. We were farmers back then, living off a land that was harsh to its people. Farmers in a desert, simply put. Even then, we fared well enough to live day-to-day. We had taxes to pay though, and it was increasingly difficult to pay with every dry spell.

The Kingdom had been separated from the Empire ever since the Alik'r warriors defeated the High Elves. This was the reason why I looked up to them--they fought off the enemy that even the Empire cannot defeat. However, they were still part of the Kingdom, and they were the ones who put the law into action.

One day during a month of famine, we had been trying to plant whatever we can that required very little water. We looked up and saw three Alik'r warriors headed our way. "They must be patrols, thirsty from their rounds. We should give them some water," my mother said. She started for the house, and I followed her. 

Holding a pitcher of water and some tankards, my mother and I opened the door to see one of the warriors holding my father's cloak by the neck and shaking him, saying, "Pay your taxes now, as the King commands!" My mother dropped the pitcher she was holding, spilling precious water on the ground. She screamed. My father pleaded, "Please! Please! It has been a long famine and we could not plant anything on the ground! Give us time until this famine stops, and we'll pay you back!" It did not seem like the soldier listened to my father. He kept screaming at him to pay up. My father kept pleading. My mother screamed and cried. I stood there holding the tankards we were supposed to offer to them for their thirst. We were wrong--they had a different thirst.

What happened next was the first of a series of the worst things that had happened in my life: one of the soldiers got fed up of my father's pleading, took out his curved sword, and chopped his head off. My mother cried out my father's name as his lifeless body fell to the ground, spilling his precious blood on the ground where the plants used to grow. One of the soldiers screamed at the one who killed my father for doing such an act. "We have clean this mess up now, you damned idiot!" they said. They turned to us. Cleaning up the mess meant no witnesses, too. 

I wanted to cry, but we had no time. It was cry or die. I grabbed my mother's hand and pulled her with me as I started running. I took one of the swords outside the house with me. I hear one of the soldiers shout, "Get them!" Unfortunately there was nothing that could hide us in the field, for nearly everything had died from the famine. We headed east, to Skyrim. We will be safe there, I thought, as I ran with my mother. She could not keep up with me. We stopped. She took the sword from me and told me, "Kousei, I love you. Run, I will hold them off! I will never forgive myself if anything happened to you!" 

I stared at her. I could not possibly leave her to die! I can hold them off as well as she could! She kept screaming at me to run away as the soldiers caught up to us. I stood there and watched as my mother fought them. Three soldiers against one old woman. They gave her arm deep cuts, and stabbed her shoulders. She dropped her sword, and it fell near where I stood. It was my chance. I picked it up and charged at them, tears blinding my eyes. It went black.

I regained my senses to find three Alik'r warriors dead, with my father's sword in my hands. I had wounds on my left eye, and I could not see properly. I turned and saw my mother on the ground, a pool of blood on her clothes. She breathed as heavily as the sword felt in my hands. I cried. She told me I had no reason to be beside her anymore, that I should make my own life from now on. She told me she loved me with her last breath.

I ran away from Hammerfell, from everything that had happened. The soldiers I looked up to for the honor and valor killed my parents for no reason. I wanted to get my revenge. 

I kill thieves, Kiya. This is the reason why I cannot just overlook the life you kept me from knowing. Let me just tell you this: thieves will be thieves their whole lives. Expect your friends to stab you in the back like that Mercer Frey did if that will further their own intentions. I am willing to do forget all that had happened, however, because I love the woman far more than her being a thief. I will not judge you for who you are or what you do. I will try my hardest to keep you away from harm if I knew it was coming for you.

Please, let us meet again, my love. We still have a lot to talk about.

Kousei

Walking in the Shadows

Kousei:

So you know. I figured I would have to tell you sooner or later, but it is most regretful I have to narrate my story while you have hate in your heart for me. Yes, I am one of the elusive circle who answer directly to Nocturnal herself. And yes, we are a subfaction of a larger and more visible group called the Thieves Guild. I'm sure you already know what we've been up to for the last couple of months. You did mention that you were familiar with the misfortunes of Goldenglow Estate and Honningbrew Meadery. But did it ever cross your mind that they were perpetrated by the same person on the orders of Maven Black-Briar? Gods, how I hate that woman. But we had little choice; Mercer Frey's treachery had left our fortunes in shambles, and Maven was the only one keeping things afloat until I came around. (Oh, and Maul's loyalties are more for Maven than the guild, although he's an associate.)

There is far more politics to Goldenglow Estate and Honningbrew Meadery than meets the eye, but I presume that is not important to you. You've read the book I've left on the dining table of Breezehome, and what you most likely want to know is why I would stoop so low to sell my soul to the Patron of Thieves. This brings us back to Mercer Frey, the traitor to our guild. I did tell you that I have already sent him to his grave, but I would not have been able to do it without the power of Nocturnal. Scoff at me if you want, but a traitorous Nightingale wasn't one to be so easily subdued.

The only Daedric artifact you couldn't keep.

Oh yes, Mercer Frey was a Nightingale. And so was Gallus Desidenius, who died trying to bring his treachery to light. You see, Mercer didn't just make off with something as petty as gold or jewels from the treasury -- he had taken the Skeleton Key of Nocturnal from her temple. It was thanks to this Daedric artifact that he had managed to unlock the seemingly impenetrable puzzles of Snow Veil Sanctum and countless others. You might ask what was all this fuss about an unbreakable lockpick, but the Skeleton Key is more than just a lockpick. It could unlock the hidden potential in everyone, and even more importantly, it could unlock the doors to Nocturnal's realm so her influence -- luck -- can spread throughout Nirn.

Do you know who got me dabbling into melee combat?

We had to chase after Mercer Frey. When he took the Skeleton Key from the temple, he had effectively cut off our luck. And furthermore, who knows what he'll do with the power of the Key in hand? Tracking him down in Irkngthand has shown that he has already tapped into at least a fraction of its true power -- his power. His ability to sneak attack Falmer and bandits was suspiciously good.

It's quite a relief the Dwemer employed different methods to take out the Falmer's sight.

What was he doing in Irkingthand, you may ask? He was after two things only -- a pair of wondrous gems known as The Eyes of the Falmer. We were sure to never see him again if he ever managed to make off with such priceless treasures. I was left to fight him one-on-one thanks to him influencing my companions to fight each other, and he went further to effortlessly collapse part of the chamber to separate me from them. Shouts can do that, I know. But he didn't even need to Shout to be able to do it.

A glimpse into my future, I guess.

It was a long battle I fought with Mercery Frey, but I prevailed in the end. But barely did I have the time to retrieve the Skeleton Key from his corpse when the chamber began to flood with water. Thankfully, a small landslide opened up a path at the back of the statue, and we were able to swim back to safety. But the worst was far from over for me. Owing to the disgrace of the previous set of Nightingales, I had to personally return the Skeleton Key to Nocturnal's temple, the Twilight Sepulcher, to end Mercer's meddling once and for all.

No way out but through this Key.

As a Nightingale I shouldn't have had to undergo the Sepulcher's tests, but things were quite bleak in the Sepulcher. The specters of the previous Nightingales except Gallus Desidenius had been driven mad by being cut off from Nocturnal for so long, and they couldn't recognize me as one of their ranks. I had to force my way through several of them while I deciphered the riddles of the place. And in the final pit, which functioned as a trap for any fool who would try to access the most guarded part of the Sepulcher, I felt the Key react.

You have my word, Lady Nocturnal.

After I returned the Key, Nocturnal herself appeared from her plane in Oblivion. She offered no accolades, and instead reiterated the terms of my contract before bidding me to see to the Key's safety. But I wasn't too disappointed. The fact that she didn't take my life then and there was proof of her favor. Assured that the new Nightingales have proven their worth, Nocturnal relieved Gallus of his duty over the Sepulcher. The duty of guarding Nocturnal's shrines is now in the hands of the current Nightingales, including me.

I'll let you guess who are the other current Nightingales.

And so that's how my story ends. But you may still ask -- why did I join the Thieves Guild in the first place? I wish I can say it was due to something as simple as want for money, but that's not the whole picture. You had a warm welcome in Riften when you first entered the city. Unfortunately, Riften does not offer that kind of welcome to everyone who enters her gates, especially if that person is an Imperial. If you got greeted with smiles, I was greeted with scorn. I couldn't sit in the Bee and Bard long before some fanatical Stormcloak sympathizer begins blaming me for the Empire's faults. I am not even part of the Imperial Legion, and yet they treat me as though I have killed their sons and daughters in cold blood. Riften's deceptively civil facade rejected me even before we began our correspondence. It was only in Riften's unsavory bowels that I was accepted, because they are unconcerned with race or war factions. It makes you question whether petty things really ought to be called "petty," or if a noble cause really ought to be called "noble." It makes you question what it really means to be called honorable.

I cannot apologize for choosing the unsavory side of Riften, but I do regret that it caused you so much pain. Know one thing, Kousei: my love for you is every bit as true as I am truly a Nightingale. Despite the secrets I have kept from you, I have held back nothing in terms of my love. If you can no longer see me as anything more than a thief, it will break my heart, but I will not hold it against you. I have told my story, and you can make of it what you will. I have but one request -- please do not leave me guessing if you still hold a bit of the affection that bound us together, even if only in a tiny fraction of your heart.

Kiya

The Dark Side

Kiya,

I know it was you.

I had been sent by the Companions to Riften since we last saw each other at Whiterun. That had been the reason why I was in a hurry to leave, as they said this was a business I had to attend to urgently. At the time, I knew you had other matters to attend to, but I did not guess it would be the same as mine in a different light! 

One of our guild's clients had asked us to "make" Maul submit and pay a large amount of debt. All I had to do was to travel to Riften and force him to do what he has to do. It all sounded too easy. I traveled a few days to get to Riften, and having arrived there at night, I wanted to deal with the job as soon as possible so I can just rest in one of the inns right after. Fortunately, a lot of people in the small city knew who Maul was; they pointed towards the docks. I found him there, and started "talking" to him.

Imma "maul" you, Maul.

I had made Maul kneel on one knee saying he'll pay. I thought no one was coming to help him with this, as it was his personal problem, not his guild's nor Black-Briar's. Then again, I was wrong--I heard very quiet footsteps. I had been uhhh, trained by the Companions to hear the most quiet of footsteps. I know you are light on your feet Kiya-- but this time, I heard you.

I turned around and saw this dark figure trying to sneak up on me. I left Maul to figure out how he was going to pay the large amount he owed and charged at this dark figure. I thought, probably one of his men or his guild members. I had to catch this snoop and stop him from talking, as I'm sure this shadow heard me speaking of the Companions.

I wonder why you snuck up on me with a lantern on your back.

The spy turned and started running away. I could tell it was a woman from the shape of her body and armor. They are lighter on their feet, I am guessing. She had a lamp that was on, but we were still inside the city. If she went inside the Ratway she would need it, but I will never lose her there, as it is easier to smell her in closed corridors. She had a very familiar smell on her, one I am fond of. At that point, I knew it was you. You ran towards the gates, and as the gates opened, you put your lamp out.

Run shadow, run!

Now I knew you were going to have a hard time running in the jungle in the pitch-black night, so I thought I would be able to catch you as easily as I made Maul submit. I did not think you could see me either--my new armor was as dark as the night as yours. I was wrong--you kept running and running and never once hit any obstacle in your way. It seems as though you knew every leaf in this hold, or you could see in the dark as well as any wolf can. I was surprised you did not even use any kind of magic to let you see the way.

Unfortunately, my eyes fail me in the dark. I might consider myself a hunter, a wolf even, but I had to rely on my other senses to be able to catch you. We ran and ran, avoiding every tree, every stone, every cliff for hours on end. I was not about to get tired any time soon--I could have done this all day, but I knew you couldn't, without your reliance on magic. In fact, with the length of the chase we had, I would have thought you cast some restoration spells on yourself quietly.

It's amazing how I can get this shot perfectly.

The sun had started to rise when you suddenly stopped, ready to fight this through. You had not yet realized who your pursuer was. With one swift, smooth motion, you turned around, drew your bow, nocked an arrow, and shot it while I was fast approaching. I managed to avoid the arrow, just barely, and I kept on charging. I did not draw my sword even as you launched another arrow. It hit my shield just in time. You were about to reach for another arrow from your quiver when I jumped on you to try and pin you down. At the same time, you jumped backwards to avoid my metallic claws from reaching you. I instead was only able to reach for your mask, tearing it apart from your head.

It's... shiny.

I landed on the ground, clutching your mask. I looked closely at the mask for a very short while--it had the same symbols as the sword and bow you had in Breezehome. Could it be true? I was afraid you had kept this secret from me all this time, working in the shadows in doubtful ways behind my back.

Don't you run away from this!

By the time I looked up from my fall, you were already running away. It had been too great of a shock to me to start pursuing you again. I knew it was you, and there was only one way to settle this, and I expect your reply to this letter to be an explanation for everything. Everything, Kiya. I do not want to face you until I have answers! I have no love for thieves, and the fact that the one I love is a thief herself breaks my heart in every way possible.

Kousei

The Foolish to Confound the Wise

My Dearest Kousei,

It's a shame you had to leave before dawn. It would have been wonderful to spend more than the night with you, but I agree that some obligations cannot be ignored. Thank you for giving back the Silver Mold, for one. I'll see that it gets back to Markarth where it belongs. And even more, thank you for being very solicitous of me regarding the condition I suffered. Karliah was an able healer in her own right, but nothing could match your tenderness. I promise that one day, I'll explain to you in its entirety how I managed to obtain the weaponry and the journal you found in Breezehome. The circumstances of their acquisition were quite complicated, but I meant it when I said they were given to me.

Anyhow, you still remember what I told you about my recent encounter with another Daedric Prince, yes? I had only managed to set the illuminations to paper until now, and so I am sending them to you with this letter. Part of the recent scuffle and bustle I went through brought me to Solitude, but meeting Sheogorath was not planned. A beggar I met on the streets was mumbling about his master not emerging from the Blue Palace's Pelagius Wing for years now. It sounded like nonsense, but there was no harm in exploring a bit. Because I was in good terms with the Jarl of Solitude and her steward, I was able to obtain access to the wing without much trouble.

Not a lockpickable lock, no.

I should have known there was a catch. After spending a few moments surrounded by cobwebs and darkness, everything morphed to a mist-shrouded... place. I don't know exactly how to describe it, and imagine my brief sense of panic when I realized that I had nothing on me except some ridiculous clothes and the illumination machine. But then, I saw this little banquet scene.

This party scene looks too familiar to be true.

Who should I encounter but the Daedric Prince of Madness, Sheogorath? And then there was the silent and disturbed-looking man sitting right across him. I had no choice but to speak to Sheogorath lest I be stuck in that place for the rest of my life. Turns out the place we were in was not what it seems.

Who knew my history lessons would come to haunt me?

I have been told stories of the Septim bloodline when I was little, and so I was familiar with Pelagius III's reputation. Sheogorath agreed to return from his "vacation" if I managed to get Pelagius' mind in order. I had no choice, but how was I to set a madman's mind back to normal with nothing but an illumination machine and my fists? Thankfully, Sheogorath was in the mood to be helpful, because he gave me a curious staff to wield, plus some notes of advice on the way. What followed was perhaps one of the most amusing "battles" I ever fought, even if I didn't think it was amusing at the time.

Bottom line: love yourself, loathe others.

Extracting night terrors and turning them into something else.

Enlarging tiny men and turning a madman's night terrors into sultry maidens who speak like men took a bit of getting used to, but I was beginning to like the staff -- Wabbajack, as Sheogorath called it. I wondered if the Daedric Prince will let me keep it after Pelagius' mind has been cleared. I did have a bit of trouble in the last stretch of the mad monarch's thoughts, though. I spent a few futile moments trying to get one of the Atronachs in the arena to defeat the other before I finally realized I ought to be hitting a different target.

But it keeps changing to match my elemental type!

What are the other stuff I can shoot at around here?

Now that Pelagius Septim III's paranoia, night terrors, and anger issues have been taken care of, it was time to go home. I was worried it wouldn't be enough for Sheogorath, knowing how unpredictable he could get. Thankfully, he sent both of us back to Tamriel, and even let me keep the Wabbajack. In a way, I'm more frightened of him than Sanguine or Azura. At least those two have moods that are far more stable than Sheogorath's.

There is sanity in every insane person.

Oh, and I made sure I got back into my usual armor before anyone from the Jarl's court could see me.

Why that ridiculous hat, Sheogorath? Why??

I've tested the Wabbajack's effects on several enemies by now, and true to the nature of the Daedric Prince who gave it, the staff has some unpredictable effects. I've seen bandits turn into crabs, chickens, or goats. Draugr Deathlords adorn my plate as sweet rolls. Once, I got showered with septims when I charged at a Frost Troll. Sometimes, I end up fighting a Dremora in place of a wolf, or I heal the enemy instead of dealing damage. But it's a powerful artifact in its own right, and I like to keep it with me.

Jabba-whacked by the Wabbajack.

On a more serious note, though, there's one thing that's been on my mind since last night. We decided to have dinner in the Sleeping Giant Inn as a tribute to our first meeting, and everything was going wonderfully until some Alik'r warriors entered. They weren't hostile -- in fact, they politely greeted us a good evening and even seemed pleasantly surprised to see a fellow Redguard in Skyrim. However, you gave them only a curt nod, hastily whispering to me that we ought to return home as soon as possible. I was surprised by your sudden change of mood, but I decided against asking what was in your mind. And so we finished our meal quickly and silently, before we went back to Whiterun where we spent the night.

Desert folk in a land of snow and ice.

Will you tell me what was bothering you, beloved? I know that you were orphaned as a child, but you have yet to tell me how it came about. Did something happen back in Hammerfell for you to treat your fellow Redguard warriors as such? It pains me to see you so disturbed, and I hope you will allow me to help you just as you're so eager to help me.

Lots of love,

Kiya

Friends.

Dear Kiya,

I am extremely enraged by the fact that you got stabbed while helping out these "friends" of yours. Are they really your friends? They betrayed you and left you for dead! If I ever see this Mercer Frey, I will bash him senseless with my shield, stab his throat, and take his head off! You have already dispatched him before I did though, and I consider him lucky. The people of Riften apparently did not know anything about the guy. I rushed there when I read your letter to see if you were still there--somewhere. I was not at all familiar with Riften's streets, and so I gave up my search for you and asked around on a man named Mercer. Nobody could tell me who or what he was, except that he was very rich. That was the end of it, I guess.

It took me a few days to head back to Whiterun, where I thought you might be resting your wounds. I knocked on Breezehome's door a few times, and Lucia opened it. She invited me inside, and told me that you weren't there, and that you haven't visited there in quite a long while. Probably as long as you've had that stab wound. I thanked her, and just as I was about to go to the door and leave, I noticed something--sinister--near one of the shelves. I took a closer look:

Weapons of mass confusion (for me at least).

I have no idea what they were doing in your home. That symbol... I think I've seen it before, and I've taken an illumination of it near Riften. Is there something you're not telling me? Have you been in this place before and somehow found these weapons?

If a hideout's somewhere near that stone, it's not a hideout.

Pardon my intrusion inside your house, my beloved, but I could not contain my curiosity. I looked around, knowing that you were not there and Lucia does not know what any of these things mean. I saw this journal of some sort with the same weird symbol I've been seeing around your house.

That is one journal you won't miss reading...

 I opened it and found... almost nothing. The first pages I saw did not resemble any kind of writing I understand (and I know I can speak the tongues of Dragons) and did not tell me anything.

...Until you start reading it, of course.

Unfortunately, all of the pages inside the journal were written like that. I put it down, and noticed the book underneath. It spoke of Nightingales, a fabrication of reality that had been used to scare children and such. The book mentions that a Nightingale was actually found a long time ago. And it does describe the symbol of the Nightingales as the symbol on the weapons, on the journal, and on the stone. What does this have to do with you? Did you find any of them? They do not seem like a trustworthy lot, being associated with the Thieves' Guild and all.

Holy Sect?

I had to walk outside to gather my thoughts. I knew you were still hiding from you enemies, and there is no chance you'd be somewhere inside a city where eyes can easily spy on you. This Mercer Frey might have had friends, if he did not betray them before he died, and would be looking to kill you. I thought you'd just turn up when everything has been taken care of. I stopped thinking and walking. I looked up and saw a great hall just a staircase away.

This is the start of my life as a Companion. I have not made any other friends apart from you and your child, and I thought that this might be as good a time as any. As I opened the door, a fight had already started. Two women of the Companions were at each other's throats, drunk as the gods permit, with all of the others cheering them on. It was a warm, cozy place. 

I'll wager 100 gold on the one with the helmet!

As soon as the fight subsided, I started talking to some of the Companions on their lifestyle. They told me if I was good enough I'll be making a lot of money to spend on mead. I am not a drinker, as you may well know, but I am looking for work. They pointed me to Kodlak Whitemane if I wanted to join, and I wasted no time tracking him in their basement talking to one of their more formidable members, Vilkas.

I am neither.

Kodlak had suggested Vilkas and I sparred with each other so he can gauge my strength in battle. I did not think it was a good idea, as I know my strengths and weaknesses as sure as there are Dragons in Skyrim. Vilkas will be in bad health if we indeed push through with this. Kodlak wanted it, so I decided to take it easy on him. I beat him easily, most unfortunate for his pride. We went back, and I met all of the members of the Companions once Kodlak had approved of me.

So I pray to the gods that these people will trust me and keep me close. I have found new friends, and this is only the second time I've ever felt so warm in a place in Skyrim. 

I hope that wherever you are right now, please come back. Let me take care of you.

Love, 

Kousei.

P.S. Yes, I do have that weird silver mold you're talking about. Once we see each other again, I'll show it to you.

Come and get it!