Behind Closed Doors

First there was only Delphine, now there's Esbern. I haven't been too enthusiastic about undertaking any of these Blade-related quests because of my continued distrust of the Breton woman. I grew even less enthusiastic when Kousei had to leave me with Delphine for a week or two so he could attend to crashing a Thalmor party in Solitude. Oh gods, I wanted so much to shoot an arrow through her head to silence her prattle once and for all! As if to simply annoy her, I intentionally neglected to take the potion to hide my wings the whole time. Let her deal with a dragon she wouldn't dare kill.

To add to my frustration, all of Kousei's efforts only gave us more questions than answers. He could have been killed because of Delphine's foolish (and certainly now-debunked) idea that the Thalmor were behind the dragons' return. Although it annoyed me to think that we had to find this Esbern on her orders, it was a relief to return to my domain in Riften. And with my Snow Wolf, no less.

Dude, we've been standing here for 10 minutes now. Make up your mind!

Kousei wasn't too happy with having to use my guild's secret passageway to get into the Ratway, but he had to agree that it would save us the hassle of fighting through the other less-than-savory characters that call the cisterns their home. I can see his lips pursed with obvious repressed fury to be suddenly surrounded by thieves. Although I know my second-in-command Brynjolf will be more than eager to help us, I would have to rely on my underlings in the Ragged Flagon this time. Kousei and my guild's headquarters don't exactly make a perfect match.

I knew there was something fishy about the "misc. expenses" in the Guild ledger. 

I had to fight back a chuckle when I saw Dirge quietly scuttling to the shadows when he saw Kousei. I should have known he had a run-in with my love back when he was still chasing me all over Skyrim. They sought to protect their Guildmaster, and I have no doubt that they would help me now. I questioned Vekel the barman if we had anyone named 'Esbern' in our custody. He stopped his sweeping for a moment to think, and he told me of an old geezer in the Warrens that they've been keeping alive out of charity. Vekel seems to think he's slightly unhinged, but we'll see.

Get ready for a game of hide and seek!

Prior to entering the Warrens, Vekel warned us that we are not alone in searching for Esbern. Although my fellow thieves would turn away the Thalmor when they could, they couldn't guarantee that the Ratway Warrens were free of them. True enough, Kousei and I beheld some all-too-familiar figures the moment we entered the depths of Riften's underbelly.

I bet you're wishing I was wearing something else, hmm?

Despite being the Thieves Guildmaster, I have to confess that I hardly ventured into this part of the Ratway. It was quite easy to get disoriented in the catacombs, although we used this to our advantage when taking down the several Thalmor who had gotten there before us. As we neared our destination, it got all too clear that Esbern wasn't the only one who wanted to use this place to disappear from society. His 'cell-mates' had their own ways of being quirky, to put things lightly. As the Queen of Thieves, I was apparently running a slightly-insane asylum without me knowing it.

Dragonborn. Dog. Dragonborn. No, no, no.

Esbern himself was shut behind the most fortified door of the lot. That spoke much by itself, I thought. Kousei was in favor of Shouting the door down when our target continued to be tight-lipped about his identity, but I convinced him to let me try talking the old loon out. Oh, the sacrifices you're willing to take in the name of Skyrim's greater good.

Sorry, but the subtitles have already blown your cover.

That window can still let in spells and arrows, you know.

It wasn't easy, but I eventually got myself an audience with the old Blade. Although I tried to convince him that Kousei was a trusted companion, Esbern insisted that he was to speak to me alone, and promptly shut Kousei out of his hideaway. I seethed inside. What do all these Blades have against my beloved? Making a real effort to hide my anger, I told Esbern about Delphine needing his help regarding the dragon problem. The response I got was no less than dramatic. He began to rant about having tried to warn the rest of the Blades about the signs, how they foretold the return of the black dragon Alduin. They had ignored his warnings, and now the dragons were here again. Now it was too late, for only a Dragonborn could stop the World-Eater.

Esbern describing Alduin the Binge-Eater.

Esbern was silent a moment to catch his breath. At that moment, I made the decision to tell him about my ability to Shout and absorb dragon souls -- abilities of the Dragonborn. And furthermore, that the Redguard he had locked out of his room had the same powers as I. To say that his jaw fell to the floor was an understatement. It took a while for him to gather his thoughts (and even later, to gather his things), but he finally agreed to be escorted back to Riverwood and be reunited with Delphine. As I waited for him to get ready, I thought about how I still personally doubted my worthiness and willingness to be the Dovahkiin of legend. I may have revealed my identity to Esbern with conviction, but still I felt that heavy weight in my heart. Does the Dragonborn function only as a dragonslayer? The Blades ought to be thankful that Kousei doesn't possess my conflicted views. They should be gravitating towards him, not me.

You want me to Fus Ro Dah you as a demonstration, old man?

Getting out of the Warrens may seem like a breeze compared to entering them, but the Thalmor had called some backup. I stopped my companions prior to exiting the madmen's refuge, noting that the air of the Ratway was different. Kousei, with his werewolf-imbued senses, affirmed my observations, and whispered that he smelled the High Elves nearby. I managed to seriously wound one with an arrow from the shadows, but he was not alone. Soon they were upon us (or rather, we were upon them). Kousei and I had to make sure Esbern was unscathed and arrow-free throughout the battle, but thankfully, he didn't get in the way as much as we thought he would. 

Wizard versus Beastmaster in action.

We returned to the Headquarters where we could take the shortcut back to the surface. On the way, I came across a face I hadn't seen in a long while -- Etienne Rarnis. He greeted me with the courtesy a thief would bestow on a Nightingale and Guildmaster, but he flinched a little when he saw Kousei. Etienne grudgingly gave him thanks for freeing him from the Thalmor Embassy, while at the same time murmuring that he wasn't too happy with how Kousei treated him. I had to reassure my underling that he wasn't always like that. For all I know, Kousei let him off the hook for my sake.

You made it back to Riften!

I heard Kousei let out a heavy sigh when we got out of the Ratway. I paused and turned to him. He had taken the potion prior to going into my domain. But now I saw that its effects had gone, and he had his wings again. Why could the Blades not see who you are? I silently wondered, raising my hand to caress the scars on his cheek. In the lamplight, I saw his fierce expression soften, and he likewise raised a hand to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. I know we would have kissed then, if not for Esbern giving a fake cough behind us.

"Just make sure your bed's not creaky tonight, you hear?"

Nocturnal curse you, I told that wretched old man in my mind. I glanced at Kousei, and I know he was likewise praying for Hircine to rend Esbern to pieces at that moment. Recruiting this silly geezer had better be worth it. The Greybeards have little love for the likes of him, and now I find myself sharing that dislike more and more. If only Riverwood wasn't that far from here. If it was not for the sake of my adopted land, I wouldn't have gone through the trouble of aiding these shortsighted dragon hunters in hopes of finding out the truth behind Alduin, the dragon who attacked Helgen... the dragon who saved me.