A Nightingale in a Golden Cage

I'm beginning to lose count of the days I've been running from the Stormcloaks. My existence has turned into an eerie parallel of my fellow Nightingale Karliah, at least prior to the fall of Mercer Frey. Never sleeping in the same place twice, relying on Nocturnal's mysterious whim to keep me hidden... I am truly her Nightingale now.

After exiting Castle Volkihar, Serana and I snuck our way into the Reach, hugging Skyrim's very borders to High Rock and Hammerfell. It was nice to see its rugged beauty once more; a shame I could not enjoy it much. I temporarily took refuge in Druadach Redoubt, the abode of the Forsworn leader Madanach. His welcome was one of the warmest I've had in a while, for he had never forgotten the aid I had given him before. And I suspect it was due to some pity too. We are on the same boat now, hunted by Skyrim's leaders and with a bounty on our heads.

One day. Yeah. Thanks for the assurance, Madanach.

After replenishing my supply of the ghastly mixture to change my scent, we went out again. Somehow, all the days of running are already taking a toll on my emotional state. I was searching for a sign -- any sign -- that will point to my deliverance from all this. Of course the easiest way out would be to leave Skyrim and go back to my native land of Cyrodiil. Or even Solstheim. I've gone there several times, searching for a certain "Miraak" who had been sending pockets of assassins after me. But something tethers me to my adopted land, and I cannot leave it no matter what.

I went into the Twilight Sepulcher once more. I had to make Serana wait outside because Nocturnal wouldn't have allowed her presence in there. When I entered the Inner Sanctum, I was completely alone. I had hoped that perhaps Nocturnal will heed my summons and offer me a bit of guidance, but all that greeted me was the murky silence of the Ebonmere. I had to steel myself from shedding tears. But as I was about to take the portal back to the entrance, a fluttering sound made me look up. It was a lone nightingale, very much like the ones perched on my Mistress' arms. It made a complete circuit of the cavern, shedding a pair of its wing feathers before flying skywards.

Dammit, show up or I'd jump in!

I do not know what to make of this sign, or if it even meant anything. I kept the feathers, however, and had taken to wearing them with a circlet as a reminder of the Night Mistress. But apparently I had changed more than I had realized. Serana gave a little gasp when she saw my appearance as daylight increased. My eyes, previously brown, were now a shade of violet -- the same as Karliah's -- and the color of my warpaint had changed accordingly, without me even knowing it.

So much had changed.

After spending a few more days flitting between Falkreath and Markarth, I finally decided I needed to speak with Karliah. She greeted me in the Nightingale Hall, and we shared a meal together while discussing the state of things. I asked her how she'd been faring now that her sworn enemy was dead, and her reply made me a tad envious. How can I still feel serenity and fulfillment now that my thoughts are clouded by desires of revenge and retribution?

Care to teach me how?

So clouded were my thoughts that I ended up speaking harshly of our Patron. Nocturnal cares for nothing but our suffering, I spat out bitterly. Karliah listened as I told her of my visit to the Twilight Sepulcher, and how it gave me more questions than answers. After letting me shed a tear or two in my frustration, she gently offered her own wisdom on the matter. She pointed out the color of my eyes and the fact that I had never been found by bounty hunters all this time. It was just like her own experience running from the Thieves Guild after Mercer Frey's betrayal. It woke me up like a splash of cold water. If Karliah managed to stay hidden from the Thieves Guild, whose eyes and ears reach far more than the Stormcloaks, my situation isn't as bad as I imagined. Nocturnal isn't one whom mortals can ever fully understand. Come to think of it, so am I. Kousei would have affirmed to that. No wonder I serve her.

Nocturnal isn't the easiest of Deadric Princes to serve.

Karliah reiterated that the Nightingale Hall is my home so long as I am in Nocturnal's service, and I will find in it a perfect hideaway should I need one. I thanked her, but explained that I won't risk dragging her into the bigger conflict I am now part of. Mercer's betrayal was bad enough. And it turns out I left in a timely manner. Several days afterwards, a message from Karliah arrived to the Ragged Flagon's Cistern. She warned me that "a Redguard with skeletal dragon wings on his shoulders has been haunting the Nightingale Stone for two days now".

I stared at those words, stunned. It could only be Kousei. And he has wings too? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, for he's Dragonborn like me. I wanted to think about what this all means, but there are more pressing matters. Damn him! He's dangerously close on my trail. Wasn't it enough that he had taken Lucia hostage?! I cried when my associates informed me that he had relocated my daughter to his Morthal manor. I briefly toyed with the idea of stealing into Windstad and rescuing Lucia, but Vex and Delvin had talked me out of it. Damn that Redguard, using all my weaknesses to flush me out!

Empty that Redguard's pockets for me, will you?

I barely had time to gather my wits when Brynjolf came striding towards me. His urgency set a chill down my spine. "The Redguard is at our very doorstep," he informed me. "Come, we'll get you out while there's still time." When I expressed my concern about our guild members in the Ragged Flagon, Brynjolf assured me that they can handle themselves. For a brief moment, my trust on my guild mates wavered. How can they stand up against a Dragonborn? But there was no time left. As Brynjolf escorted me out of our hidden entrance, he told me once again that despite what the Stormcloaks say, he and the Guild would always stand by their Guild Master.

Kousei had effectively cut off my access to the Ragged Flagon and the Nightingale Hall. But upon reflection, that was because he knew of my connections to them. Now I understand where I should go. He may know that I am a thief and a Nightingale, but he does not know of my connections to the College of Winterhold. Perhaps Savos Aren and Mirabelle Ervine would be willing to give me a safe haven. May Nocturnal guide me.

- Kiya