Love Lost and Found

My beloved Kousei,

It feels surreal to be writing to you again, but it fills me with happiness to finally get to do so once more. I admit I have been trailing you for some time, and it was by some stroke of luck (or fate, perhaps) that your travels brought you to Riverwood, where we first met.

Oh, how the trees have grown.

I had already stopped trying to hide my scent from you, but apparently it would take some time before the mixture is thoroughly purged from my systems. I dropped an Ancient Nord Sword on the roadside, just like I did before. But you did not seem to get the hint, because you charged at me with your weapon drawn. Although I hated it, I had to resort to my most powerful fire spell to push you back. And just our luck, the effects of my wing-suppressant potion were wearing off at the time. I removed my hood and mask to show you who I really was.

You can go no further!

You were too shocked to get up, so I had to help you back on your feet. You had not spoken all this time, but you finally whispered my name. I can discern the confusion and questions written in your eyes. However, one thing shone out clearly. It was the look of love I'd have given the whole of Tamriel to see again.

I missed you too.

I pulled you to the small camp I've set up in the woods. Serana helped me with it before she finally agreed to part ways with me. She would not stand between us, she said. She never doubted that you would protect me to the best of your abilities, and I can affirm to it now.

In the shadows of the trees, we reacquainted ourselves with the map of our bodies, and the pleasure that came with it. Wrapped in nothing but our wings and shared warmth, we talked for a long time. You wanted to hear the whole story of what I've been doing all this time, and I was happy to oblige you. The color change in my eyes, my brief sanctuary among my fellow Nightingales, my transformation to my current identity... there was much to say. When you asked me why I changed my mind about running from you, I simply said that I make mistakes as well. I remarked that I was wrong to think that you wanted me dead, to which you answered by pulling me even closer.

"Ulfric Stormcloak will never have your head while I still draw breath," you whispered with an intensity I've never encountered before. I looked at you, and saw how much you've changed. My heart broke a little, because I knew I also played a part in your pain. I was already a master healer by the College's standards, but even I do not possess a spell to instantly heal such hurts. I was just relieved you've kept your heart open to me.

What else have you been keeping here?

As we were getting dressed, you asked to see the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller before we deliver it the Greybeards. I frowned in confusion, and expressed that I do not have any such horn in my possession.

"Didn't you leave a note in Ustengrav to meet me in Riverwood's only inn?" you said, equally perplexed. "I assumed you already had the horn."

I asked to be shown the note, and you gave me a book. As I recall, you kept the note tucked inside to keep it from getting crumpled. I read it several times, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not remember having written it down, or even going to Ustengrav to plant it. The realization that the note was sent by someone else drove us to go to Riverwood and find out the truth. But not before I drank another dose of Master Tolfdir's concoction to hide my wings. I offered you a swig, but you declined.

"You need it far more than I do, love," you whispered, smiling a little.

We'll make ourselves at home, all right.

The innkeeper, Delphine, was at the Alchemy table when we got to the Sleeping Giant. I knew something was off when she informed us that they had no attic room, and instead instructed us to go to one of the unoccupied guest quarters. Having no choice, we entered the room and resolved to come up with our next plan of action. However, we'd barely settled down when Delphine opened the door (without even knocking -- thank the Divines we still had our armor on) and muttered about finally meeting the Dragonborn. And lo and behold, in her hands was the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller! My eyes narrowed a little at how she glared at you when you retrieved the horn. Why the look of disgust, I wonder? But I kept silent; Delphine wants to talk to us somewhere more private.

I'll hear you out or take you out.

She took us to the hidden basement of the Sleeping Giant Inn. She told us about how she's secretly part of a certain group that reveres the Dragonborn as the ultimate dragonslayer, and how they've been hoping to recruit the current one (ones, as she's come to learn) to uncover the truth behind the dragons' return. Although I'm as interested to know the truth behind the dov's recent activities, the fact that she called us "dragonslayer" left a rather sour taste in my mouth. Furthermore, Delphine's subtle jabs against the Greybeards made me like her less and less every minute. When she told us to accompany her to Kynesgrove and destroy a dragon to prove our Dragonborn abilities, I told her that we'd get to that when we're ready.

When she was out of earshot, you asked me quietly why I refused to go with Delphine at once. Yes, my Kousei, I know as well as you that we could handle a dragon together any time. But if there's one thing that hadn't changed, it's my unease with the cold-hearted battles against the creatures that have the same soul as ours.

Wisely does not include Shouting the previous High King to pieces, no?

At my insistence, we ascended back to the Greybeards' monastery in the Throat of the World so we can return the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller. Arngeir was delighted to see the artifact, and even more when he realized it was retrieved by the joint effort of the two Dragonborn. He called the rest of his brothers to the hall and made us stand in the center. As a reward, we were allowed to learn the final Word of Unrelenting Force. While I was grateful, I know you'd be able to make use of it more than me. To a degree, I still do not use the Thu'um unless I really have to.

But you've been greeting us all this time!

After we were imparted with the Word, the Greybeards officially recognized us as Dovahkiin. The ground shook as we received their greeting. I toppled down several times, but was otherwise unhurt. You helped steady me when it was over, and Arngeir allowed us to go to the courtyard and take a fresh breath. Nothing like the pure mountain air in refreshing the senses.

No post-Dovahkiin greeting party?

We walked together a short way from the monastery. The sun was already setting, and we had to don our fur-lined hoods to guard against the cold. But the view was too beautiful to miss. Furthermore, we were together to share the sight. Imagine my surprise when you suddenly reached into your travel pack and retrieved an Amulet of Mara. You've been waiting for this moment, you said. It made me bleed inside to decline your offer, but I could not marry you under a false identity. I would not allow history to write down that you married a person who's not the love of your life.

Now we just need some wine to cap it all off.

I can feel your trembling rage as I voiced my reasons. You refused to look at me for a while, but eventually, you took my hand and kissed it. As you pressed my fingers against your cheek, I can see that you were smiling again.

"You know you're the only one I'd wed," you said, your resolve returned. "I will do anything to let you walk Skyrim again without having to hide. I vow this in the name of Talos."

I rested my head on your shoulder after we kissed in the fading light. I do not know yet how we'll achieve what we really want together, but we will. We have found each other again, and I will fight to save our bond if that's the last thing I have to do.

Yours now and always,

Yisra