Some Other Kind of Conscience

My dearest Kousei,

It's only been a few days since we parted ways in Fort Dawnguard, and I still miss you like there's no tomorrow. Thankfully, I have Serana's company, and she's really a great hand in helping me cope. As we traveled to Ruunvald, we made a game of coming up with ways to get back at Isran. Not that we really intended to infect him with Vampirism or to place thistle branches on his bed when he's not looking. Although, it sure felt good to annoy him by giving you a kiss right in his presence. I hope you two didn't have a fistfight after I left.

But going back to the mission, Serana and I made it to Ruunvald. We were confronted with a deserted camp. I wondered if Isran had it wrong that Florentius was residing here (after all, he might have changed addresses), but we might as well go deeper into the excavation to make sure. Oh, and take a look at the illumination below. Just for the fun of it, I crafted Daedric armor for Serana so we can have matching outfits. She did say that she'd like to try Dragonplate though; we'll get back to that once we have cleared Ruunvald.

Serana managed to balance the illumination machine on some rocks.

Serana and I sneaked our way into the excavation site, and in the distance, I saw what looked like several Vigilants of Stendarr. However, it didn't take a second glance to notice that there was something wrong with them. Unless my eyes were deceiving me, there was this suspicious reddish halo surrounding their heads. After several failed attempts at talking sense into these Charmed Vigilants, I reluctantly gave Serana the go-signal to kill on sight. Might as well put these poor souls out of their misery.

Definitely not your normal Vigilant.

It was quite difficult to kill these souls who may not even be fighting us out of their own will, but it was either their lives or ours. The least I could do was make sure their deaths were quick. They even had several huskies with them, and it broke my heart a little to kill them. All the while, I thought of Bran, my own husky I obtained from the Dawnguard, who was most likely trotting around at my adopted daughter's heels in Breezehome just as I was shooting down his kin.

Just one more step up those stairs...

Serana pointed out that we may be able to free the Vigilants from this deathly hold by disabling whatever mechanism that binds them, but alas, that came at a huge price. I was unable to take a proper illumination of it because of the heat of battle, but it did turn out that a vampire named Minorne was keeping the Vigilants under her control. She easily succumbed to several poisoned arrows in the temple section of Ruunvald, but she took all the Vigilants with her when she died. At that moment, my blood turned cold. What if Florentius Baenius was under her thrall like the others, and by killing her, we have killed him too?

Instead of a halo, I find something else on his head.

Thankfully, that wasn't so. I unlocked the cage holding the Priest of Arkay in prison, and Florentius was quick to give his thanks. Out of curiosity, I inquired how he managed to keep Minorne's influence at bay while his companions succumbed to it. He simply replied that Arkay had been protecting him. That would have been a normal answer for a priest, I guess, if not for the fact that he soon ended up talking to a voice Serana and I couldn't hear. He originally didn't want to have anything to do with Isran, but apparently the voice convinced him otherwise. Despite Florentius' claims that it was Arkay, I am taking it with a grain of salt. He may have named his conscience after the deity of funeral rites, for all we know. I guess we have to thank the voice in his head, though, for closing his mind off from the effects of Minorne's staff. I am relieved Florentius is alive; I really am. However, I won't say that my impression of him is a good one.

Presenting the Staff of Ruunvald, tamer of Vigilants.

As soon as we exited Ruunvald, I asked Serana if it would be all right for us to visit Whiterun first. Thankfully, she agreed. It has been a while since I last saw Lucia, and by her eagerness in meeting me upon my arrival, I know she missed me too. I gave in to her requests for hide-and-seek and tag for hours on end (sometimes even including Serana) before I bid her goodbye again. Bran seemed to want to go with us as we walked out the door, but I gently petted him before giving my assurance that he will get to travel with me again soon. Such a loyal dog.

We meet again, my friend.

After a stop in Warmaiden's so I can smith some Dragonplate armor for Serana, we went out to the plains surrounding Whiterun. There, true to my promise to Durnehviir in the Soul Cairn, I called his name. It can't remember the last time I used the Thu'um, and I was worried my voice was quite rusty at it. Thankfully, Durnehviir responded to my summons. He couldn't stay for long, of course. And so after a few conciliatory exchange of words, I just smiled at Durnehviir and gestured for him to take to the skies. I can almost feel his joy as his wings tasted the air of Tamriel once again, no matter how briefly. He often looked at me as he circled the grassy fields, and the gratitude in his eyes, I know, were true.

Do tell me how things are going on your side, Kousei. I know you can more than hold your own against a vampire Isran set you up against, but it would assure me even more if you can tell me that you are all right.

Love,

Kiya

There's a Dragon in the Boneyard

We've been in this desolate place for quite a long time now. Days don't pass and neither do seasons, and I have no idea how long we've been here, but I figure it's been a while. I felt myself aged the moment I set foot here, and doing menial tasks for souls when they can do it themselves felt like forever to finish. Kiya seems to be happy with Arvak though, that hideous bony horse. I did not even think it could carry her all the way to where Valerica was. It seemed so frail, it might break on her anytime soon. I say, stick to the horses with meat, they're better for the behind.

After taking our already short time to find pages for this Jiub and retrieving the skull of a dead horse, we finally reached Valerica. She was behind some sort of ward, and I dared not pass through it. Serana immediately went on to pour out her anger on her mother, for making her the pawn for their selfish schemes. Or so she thought. Apparently, it was Valerica who sealed Serana up to save both the scroll and her daughter from Harkon's madness. I believe they had a soft moment when Valerica told Serana that what she intended was to protect her and the fate of their kind, and that she had been in exile for thousands of years, unyielding to the wishes of the Ideal Masters who wanted her soul as well.

Valerica proceeds to question Serana's choice of bringing Kiya and me here, saying that it is very dangerous for mortals to wander here. Serana defends us, however, and tells her mother that we were the ones who needed the Elder Scroll in order to defeat Harkon. I knew Valerica had her doubts, but she put them aside and told us to take care of the guardians of her safehold.

What's that on your head, Valerica?

I do not know if this is Valerica's method of dispatching us so the Elder Scroll will still be kept safe in her hands, but I am not about to let that happen. I wondered if she was really willing to give us the Scroll after we dispatch the guardians. 

The Keepers were massive undead warriors, each with their own type of weaponry. They all had that same armor made from... Dragon bones? I was not even sure if such an armor was possible to craft, as dragon bones are incredibly rare and difficult to break, let alone mold into something so fearsome. The skeletal guardians were quite difficult to take down: Not only did it summon several wrathmen as minions, but it was physically tough to overwhelm as well. I've seen how effective that armor is, so maybe when we get out of this hellish place, I'll try to smith an armor like that.

I don't think you should be worshiping that guy--he's dead too!

Kiya, you're glowing!

That must hurt.

With the three Keepers dead yet again, we go back to the entrance to the Boneyard, where Valerica stood by, waiting for us. She exclaimed in surprise that we had defeated the Keepers, and to me that meant she did not believe that we really could send those abysmal beings back to where they came form. In any case, she led us into the Boneyard, where she kept the Elder Scroll. She warned us of a Dragon that resides in Soul Cairn, the one who keeps watch over the whole place. Why were we not told of this before?

Adding two more bones to the boneyard.

All of a sudden, a thunderous roar came from the skies. "It's here!" Valerica shouted, immediately running for cover. The Dragon, known as Durnehviir, flew down and landed on the ground, summoning his horde of wrathmen and other undead. I started destroying them one by one, as I protected Kiya while she started hurling spells at the powerful dragon. Waves upon waves of undead were summoned, and at last Durnehviir succumbed to the nigh-infinite barrage of spells from Kiya. This is what we're good at.

It did not die, however. I knew from before that I could absorb the souls of dead dragon after I slay them, but Durnehviir simply flew away. It was too powerful for us to vanquish it completely, and after that exhausting battle it still had the energy to fly away. It might come back to finish us, so I had better by wary.

Here he comes!

Finally, with Durnehviir gone, Valerica was able to think clearly and breathe to be able to give us the Elder Scroll. We had to get out of there as fast as I can, for if Durnehviir came back, we will be more vulnerable to his attacks.

It's so damn heavy...

I was right. Durnehviir did came back. He met us just outside the door to the Boneyard. He did not, however, attack at the sight of us. Instead, he spoke to me and told me that he had been cheated of his soul by the Ideal Masters by giving him dominion over the Soul Cairn. He wanted to be able to go back to to Tamriel, and I was the one who could do that. He told me that he sensed that I was something called Dragonborn and he would be able to teach me how to call him to my aid on the surface. I heard Ulfric call me Dragonborn once, but I think even he is one since he can use Shouts, and even the draugr Shout. In any case, I agreed.

How hard can that be? Anyone can do it.

I was not surprised when Durnehviir turned to Kiya and offered to teach her how to call him to Tamriel. She readily agreed. I had not seen her absorb any souls of Dragons, since the only time we slew a dragon together was back in Blackreach and I was the one who absorbed the soul, but it was nice to have one more thing in common with her. 

She learned the shout as fast as I did, and told Durnehviir that she will frequently call him to Tamriel whenever she could so he'll be outside Soul Cairn. I started on the way back to the stairs up to Valerica's study, and I notice Kiya wasn't there behind me--only Serana was there. She told me Kiya was left talking to the dragon. I had to shout to her from afar to get her attention. She bid the dragon goodbye, I presumed, and ran all the way back to the group.

What are you looking at, Durnehviir??

After several days of travel, we arrived at Fort Dawnguard with much hope for the prophecy in store for us. This was not the case, however, when we found that Dexion, the Moth Priest, covered his eyes with a cloth. It was then he told us our suspicions and fears: He was blind. He was too hasty in preparing for the reading of the Elder Scroll, and that cost us our mission. However, there was another way to read the Scroll, and it was up to us to do so. We were to head to a sanctuary of Moths, and there we will be able to read the prophecy.

I wonder how you got there? It's not as if anyone's around to help you.

We had to prepare for this. Kiya and I thought of making a detour over one of our homes in order to prepare ourselves some more. As we were discussing it with each other, she suddenly kissed me. I kissed her back, for I know we both missed the feeling of our lips together. Right at that moment, however, Isran caught us in the act. He thought that Kiya and I should part our ways for the time being, as being together all the time would only help us "lose our focus". He was furious. I got furious that he got furious. There is a vampire on the loose and I should take care of it alone, Isran emphasized. Kiya was to go recruit a priest of Arkay named Florentius Baenius. I was about to stop his mouth from moving when Kiya stayed my hand, and kissed me again. At this act, Isran almost lost it. Kiya turned and walked away, as if she finally heard his anger, and, moments later, looked back at me and winked. That image of her will put a smile on my face for a good several days.

Of Undead Horses and Frustrated Novelists

What a place the Soul Cairn is! Once I got over the initial shock at the sheer strangeness of the place, I got to thinking it is quite fascinating in its own way. Sure, it's certainly annoying how slowly our health, stamina, and magicka are regenerating thanks to Serana soul-trapping us in part, but I've already made sure my armor bore enchantments to negate this inconvenience. As for Kousei, I've been supplementing his own stock of potions with my healing spells. It's well and good that I have honed my Restoration skills to replenish stamina as well as health. He has been quite uneasy ever since we entered the Soul Cairn, and I'm trying my best to lift his spirits. Hopefully after all this is over, our souls will become whole again.

Even you look more undead than usual, Serana.

I don't know which is bigger: Blackreach or the Soul Cairn. Well, even if the Soul Cairn doesn't surpass the great citadel of the Dwarves, it's big enough for us to have some difficulty locating Serana's mother. The Soul Cairn had a share of forlorn souls (and I mean this literally) who were doomed to a wretched existence after being tricked by the Ideal Masters, whose crystal forms we have already encountered as we combed the landscape for clues. We tried talking to the wraithlike figures hoping they knew something about Valerica's whereabouts, but what we mostly got were sad recollections of what they have lost. However, there was one man who specifically put me to task in finding a relic of his loyal companion.

I hope being "changed" doesn't mean I'll end up like you.

Kousei, while sifting through the rubble in one of the ruins, found a piece of writing about someone named "Jiub". By the looks of it, this Jiub was a Dunmer from Morrowind, and he was writing what looked like an autobiography. I asked Kousei if he knew the name, but he shook his head. Nonetheless, he kept the parchment as a curiosity. It was well and good that he did, for we came across Jiub himself later on. Time really has no meaning in the Soul Cairn, because Jiub must have already been dead for centuries and was now only preoccupied with penning down his life's achievements. Seeing that Kousei already had found one of his opus' pages, Jiub gave him the quest to find the others to complete the work.

...this Jiub person has lots of Morrowind's "burning wind" in his head.

Trying to increase its worth by having only one in print?

As luck would have it, the relic the soul tasked me to find -- Arvak's skull -- was near where Jiub had set up his camp. It was surrounded by souls that morphed into Bonemen, Mistmen, and Wrathmen when we got close. We have already gotten used to those denizens of the Soul Cairn by then, so were able to dispatch of them despite being more difficult to battle than the normal draugr. I retrieved the glowing horse skull from its pedestal, and its grateful owner reappeared nearby afterwards. To express his thanks, he taught me how to summon Arvak before finally disappearing in peace.

Serana, we really have to work on your aim.

Was he restless because his skull was kept on a pedestal?

Jiub's missing pages were more difficult to find than Arvak's skull, that much I can say. I recall that two of them were located right underneath crystalline incarnations of the Ideal Masters, and one cannot approach them without your life force being siphoned little by little. In those cases, I made Kousei stay safely at a distance away while I retrieved the page. He would chide me later on for this, but I reasoned that I always had Close Wounds at a ready on both hands. Kousei, my dear, I may have told you I loved you, but that doesn't mean I would have to constantly play the part of the damsel in distress whenever we're together. Anyhow, we brought back the pages to Jiub, who, in return gave them back to us as a compiled version. And his own personal locket, which he reasoned would no longer be of use to him since he had lost his physical body.

I'll forge a Dragonbone greatsword for you, Kousei. Just. Replace. That. Dreadful-looking. Warhammer.

I asked Jiub what he was going to do after having successfully compiled his opus, and he simply told us that he would then write the second volume. Kousei, Serana, and I glanced at each other and shook our heads in disbelief when Jiub wasn't looking. The man was aiming for a 26-volume autobiography. Good luck to him on that. But when he does not have to worry about dying, having already died, he has all the time to come up with the 25 follow-ups to the book we already have at our hands.

And Arvak? He's every bit the darling his previous master told him to be. I had to laugh at the look on Kousei's face when I first rode Arvak. We have seen glimpses of the skeletal horse running around the Soul Cairn before I returned his skull to his master, and Kousei must not have anticipated I would be riding it later on. "I prefer horses with flesh on them, thank you," he muttered when I asked if he wanted to ride with me. Nonetheless, may we find Valerica soon. The Soul Cairn is not for the living, and I am afraid we will end up becoming Bonemen ourselves if we stay here too long.

It's more comfortable than it looks, I tell you!

There and Back Again

Kiya and I have been in very good spirits since we woke up in her home in Whiterun. Finally! I have waited long enough for her coldness towards me to end, and I was rewarded with her own confession of her feelings for me! I have none but the gods to thank for this. Talos may not even regard this well, putting a woman above extinguishing all evil. But we have not forgotten of our task ahead as we headed again for Castle Volkihar. 

Serana informed us of an entryway around the castle itself. As we scouted around the castle, we came across a sizable port with a sunken ship. We had expected vampires the moment we set foot Castle Volkihar's land, and I, for one, had forgotten about Vampires delving into Necromancy (as Serana had). And so I was surprised when we encountered skeleton warrior with armor in them, obviously guarding the back door of the castle. Better than vampires, I should say.

I'm just gonna watch you crouch like that.

We vanquished our skeletal foes back to the world of the dead quickly, and we entered the door leading to the courtyard. We had to fight through a series of undead enemies once again, and we had to make them dead again, lest we join them in their undeath as their pawns. 

We opened the door to the courtyard, and as we did, a blinding light welcomed us to a view of a derelict, once-beautiful garden. Serana became sad almost instantly, and she told us of how she used to spend a lot of time with her mother there, caring for the courtyard and such. She led us to the middle of the courtyard, where a moon dial stood. She pondered over the reason why her mother had a moon dial, and quickly suggested that it might give us a clue on where she might be. 

Seriously, what's a moon dial for?

Kiya was able to figure out that some of the disks in the moon dial were missing, and that we had to find them. As we were searching the grounds for the disks, all I could think of was, "How could a moon dial help us find Valerica and the Elder Scroll?" Each of us found one disk each, and that completed the dial. As soon as we finished setting the last disk, the dial clicked, and the inner circle turned with the middle circle, revealing a staircase downwards to what appears to be Valerica's secret dungeon. We looked at each other. I went ahead, and they followed me down the steps.

It was almost like any other ruins down there, on the way to Valerica's study. This place has been left to the elements, although there were some that resisted it: Gargoyles and other undead. One time there, I barged in a room and did not notice the skeletons come to life. Kiya called out from right behind me, "Move!" I jumped out of the way and captured this illumination of her taking a shot. I wonder if I really did have time to take one of these. It must be impulse.

That stare. It could set things on fire in more ways than one.

We encountered several Gargoyles along the way, and while we can outrun them, we wanted them dead so we can strip the bodies of the precious gemstones they contain. Luckily, they are not too difficult to take down. Kiya even had the time to take an illumination of me bludgeoning the damned stone monsters back into Oblivion.

Boning the Gargoyle.

In one of the rooms, Serana found one of her mother's old Royal Armor. It was for vampires, and certainly Serana looked good in it. She and Kiya decided they needed a break from hacking Gargoyles to death, and consequently to swap their clothing. Serana wanted to try out wearing heavy armor while Kiya wanted the lighter ones. And so they did, after a few seconds of turning my back so I won't be able to see them swap. They've become really good friends since we left for the Castle and I'm sure it is for the better, unless they're randomly swapping clothes in the midst of clearing a dungeon of the undead! Gods, I do not understand women!

Serana, you look un-Vampire-like.

We finally reached Valerica's study, and I was astonished at what I saw: A large room full of magical experiments, rare ingredients and potions, different animal carcasses and bones, and gems containing souls. I comment out that I have never seen such an extensive library and laboratory for exploratory magic. Serana said she never knew her mother had such a large laboratory.

We searched the room for Valerica's journal, and, once we did, it spoke of an ethereal place where souls get trapped for all eternity, and that she had gone there herself. We must follow her to this place, the Soul Cairn, and retrieve the Elder Scroll from her. To do this, though, we had to find certain ingredients which were conveniently present in the laboratory. Obviously, her mother had saved those ingredients in order to gain access to the Soul Cairn in the future. 

What is it with Vampires and blood?

Serana added her blood, because it closely resembles her mother's blood, and that will allow us to gain entrance to the Soul Cairn. She bit her hand, and let the blood drip onto the mixture. Almost immediately, the middle of the room lit up with a weird, violet light, and the floor collapsed--reformed itself to a staircase, rather. Without hesitation, I ran down the staircase, but I could not enter the gate way. It was blocked by some sort of invisible force, and as I tried to enter again and again, I felt weaker and weaker. Meanwhile, Serana had been telling Kiya that the only way to enter the Soul Cairn is to become a Vampire, or to place an offering of one's soul. Kiya called me, and I ran back up with weak steps. She tells me we needed to choose between becoming a vampire or giving up a part of our souls. 

I felt like going inside the tower and destroying Harkon then and there. I would not have chosen any of the options Serana put forth, if not for Kiya convincing me that we needed to find Auriel's Bow to annihilate Harkon and his evil subjects. We ended up choosing the lesser evil: We did not want to be part of the very thing we wanted to destroy. It would not have felt right to be a vampire, to drink blood and eat human flesh. Serana then agreed to trap our souls for us. I immediately felt weaker having a part of my soul gone, but I went ahead anyway and walked down to the gate way. What lies in Soul Cairn? I wondered as I pass through the portal.

Well, that looks dangerous.